XKCDs Alternate Universe What Ifs

I always love reading XKCD’s What If… piece every week and by far this is my favourite part of this week’s Alternate Universe What Ifs. The ones in bold being particularly appealing to my sick sense of humour.

According to a report by the Occupational Safety & Health Administration, the top ten leading causes of injury in the workplace are as follows:

  • • Lightning strikes

  • Unknown

  • • Predation

  • • Betrayal

  • Curses (ancient + modern)

  • • Ant bites

  • • Falling

  • • Spider bites

  • Bites (other)

  • • Natural causes

Crystal Clear

Oh What A Night

So last night the Habs had just secured their 6th victory in row to claim the first place of the NHL. And I was watching some of the highlights and post game analysis, because it’s better when you are winning, when the doorbell rang, odd to get a visitor at 10PM, I cautiously open the door to a very pleasant but apologetic city worker informing me that our water will be cut off in about 10 minutes and that I should probably boil a kettle. Stirring from my daze, I look past him to see my entire street underwater. A few minutes later the diggers arrived and began to work on tearing up the street to get to the water main that was just below it. As the water subsided, they began to excavate the hole large enough to fit in a large steel box that basically looks like a shed. I was later, 1AM, told that this is stop the walls for the hole from caving in and crushing the city workers. A clever little box I thought, also quite smart for the workers, but us residents with large windows was the use of stadium lighting. It was extremely effective as you can see by the quality of the pictures taken without a flash at 3AM. But when it was all over at 6AM, just as the little ones rose from their toothless slumbers (more on that later), they were all done and the road all tidied up. The water is once again flowing clear and with full pressure, a luxurious constant in the Pointe-Claire that some of us take for granted. And until last night, I was a little doubtful as to what my double municipal taxes actually provided me. The answer, like my water is a lot clearer now thanks to some pleasant men and women in orange hi-viz coveralls and hard hats.

 

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